Coup d'état; A Life Sentence

I find that word fascinating, "coup d'état," and it's rather fun to say...over and over again. Or at least until you no longer find it fascinating - and then forget how to spell it because you want nothing more than to get it out of your brain.

Shostakovich's First Symphony performance tonight. I'm rather looking forward to it, I've spent a lot of time studying Shostakovich. How amazing that one can live in a culture where your work is constantly dismissed and seen as anti-government. But then again, we evolve to live in some of the worst areas plausible - we're resilient.

Britten composed something really mysterious with "The Rape of Lucretia." The libretto is saddening: Three friends sit around of which two complain about their wives being unfaithful and that no one in Rome is faithful, but the one fellow retorts that his wife has always been faithful to him. They thinks he's full of, well you know, so one of the dudes (the prince, notice how it's always royalty that turns out to be the stupid ones) goes and rapes Lucretia. Lucretia then feels that she'll never be pure again, even though her hubby tells her, "Girl, it's cool, shit happens." She kills herself, opera ends with prayer. There's suppose to be a Christian moral to this story...I just...haven't found it...

WAIT! Thank god for wikipedia!

This is the conclusion of the opera, post the death of Lucretia (of course):The Female Chorus is left in despair at the moral emptiness of this story. But the Male Chorus tells her that all pain is given meaning, and all sin redeemed, in the suffering of Christ.

Wow, lame, I feel like the religious undertone should be...a bit more substantial then that...maybe like....SINNERS WILL DIE! Or something. At least the musics worth playing.

Forcing myself to learn this competition material. Happy..hunting? I don't know, that just felt right.

Life Lessons should read like the backs of Cereal Boxes

I'm sure everyone has eagerly been waiting for the next installment of my insanity. Alas, things have been busy and I haven't had a moment to catch up with the world that never ceases moving.

I can't complain, I work best when I have schedules and am SO overloaded that I'm unable to breath. My productivity goes through the roof.

Isn't that odd?

I find myself getting more projects done and covering more ground in my playing. On the flip side of that, my home life has gone to the birds. I can't keep up with laundry and cleaning is practically nonexistent to me. I remember to water the plants when their leaves begin to drop and shaving turns into a nightmare-ish adventure of pain because I wait too long.

BUT, I'm satisfied with my playing! And that has to account for something, right?

Some things I've learned over the course of this quarter (BE FOREWARNED, this may be emo):

1. Faith/Trust is something I give out too easily to people which in turn they seem to shatter to bits and pieces.

2. There are a small amount of people in your life that actually care about your well-being and happiness, the rest only want something from you or will use you to make them feel better.

3. Sincerity is apparently really hard to come by these days.

4. I love Shostakovich

5. I've become even more obsessed with Nielsen

6. As cheap and disgusting as it is, I love Chicken flavored Ramen and could (and probably will) eat it for the rest of my life

7. Asians make me laugh - thanks Cleo, Megumi, and Margaret Cho

8. I'm slowly being let into this secret world of music that I think few people experience - pure bliss, beauty and refinement.

9. I MISS NY SO MUCH.

Okay onto other topics.

I wrote a hug blog about the Nieslen concerto a few weeks ago - many noticed the erroneous mistake that I made mislabeling Martin Frost's name as...Robert Frost.

I wanted to make a few comments on the Frost recording again - as I've spent more time learning the score, studying various recordings, and really living the work. You know...there are moments in Frost's recording that I find absolutely blissful and create this cerebral and esoteric atmosphere, but there are too many other moments that really don't sit right with me. I'm sure he really developed and choreographed what he wanted musically but some of those moments I simply don't understand. Maybe it's a lack of my own musical development? I tend to think not. I feel like the language he is trying to conjure through the music is...well the wrong language. Like I'm listening to someone speak english mixed with mandarin, spanish, and french. Needless to say, Frost's recording is still one of my favorites - I just haven't found a recording that is MY definitive nielsen recording.

I want more edge on the edgier parts and more sweetness and suppleness on the legato/adagio sections. I definitely suggest everyone use Frost's recording as a learning tool as they embark on their own studies of the Nielsen - it definitely puts things into perspective that very few clarinetist have the guts to do, especially as a performer. I doubt this recording will ever fall from my top recordings though.

Man, not very structured with the writing today. Opps.

My next project, I think, will be Britten's "Rape of Lucretia," which I'm currently playing for at CCM. I've heard so many people bash this opera, and you know, it just goes to show how quick people are to make assumptions about something before they ready/study it. Knowing the libretto is one things, but Britten wrote his works as a whole, like Gesamtkuntswerk. The score is absolutely divine - I'll say there are moments where one finds shimmers of Ravel's brilliant orchestration, moments of Stravinsky-esque rhythmic pulsations and melodic shapings comparable to Schubert.

But, for another day.

Contemplate this!

I'm going to write something...soon. I promise. Maybe today post my necessary evening nap. Something delicious - or something that tastes a little like curry...spicy curry with ginger. Mmmhmm. Yes. Just wait. Have your glass of water in hand, I might dehydrate you.