I can't complain, I work best when I have schedules and am SO overloaded that I'm unable to breath. My productivity goes through the roof.
Isn't that odd?
I find myself getting more projects done and covering more ground in my playing. On the flip side of that, my home life has gone to the birds. I can't keep up with laundry and cleaning is practically nonexistent to me. I remember to water the plants when their leaves begin to drop and shaving turns into a nightmare-ish adventure of pain because I wait too long.
BUT, I'm satisfied with my playing! And that has to account for something, right?
Some things I've learned over the course of this quarter (BE FOREWARNED, this may be emo):
1. Faith/Trust is something I give out too easily to people which in turn they seem to shatter to bits and pieces.
2. There are a small amount of people in your life that actually care about your well-being and happiness, the rest only want something from you or will use you to make them feel better.
3. Sincerity is apparently really hard to come by these days.
4. I love Shostakovich
5. I've become even more obsessed with Nielsen
6. As cheap and disgusting as it is, I love Chicken flavored Ramen and could (and probably will) eat it for the rest of my life
7. Asians make me laugh - thanks Cleo, Megumi, and Margaret Cho
8. I'm slowly being let into this secret world of music that I think few people experience - pure bliss, beauty and refinement.
9. I MISS NY SO MUCH.
Okay onto other topics.
I wrote a hug blog about the Nieslen concerto a few weeks ago - many noticed the erroneous mistake that I made mislabeling Martin Frost's name as...Robert Frost.
I wanted to make a few comments on the Frost recording again - as I've spent more time learning the score, studying various recordings, and really living the work. You know...there are moments in Frost's recording that I find absolutely blissful and create this cerebral and esoteric atmosphere, but there are too many other moments that really don't sit right with me. I'm sure he really developed and choreographed what he wanted musically but some of those moments I simply don't understand. Maybe it's a lack of my own musical development? I tend to think not. I feel like the language he is trying to conjure through the music is...well the wrong language. Like I'm listening to someone speak english mixed with mandarin, spanish, and french. Needless to say, Frost's recording is still one of my favorites - I just haven't found a recording that is MY definitive nielsen recording.
I want more edge on the edgier parts and more sweetness and suppleness on the legato/adagio sections. I definitely suggest everyone use Frost's recording as a learning tool as they embark on their own studies of the Nielsen - it definitely puts things into perspective that very few clarinetist have the guts to do, especially as a performer. I doubt this recording will ever fall from my top recordings though.
Man, not very structured with the writing today. Opps.
My next project, I think, will be Britten's "Rape of Lucretia," which I'm currently playing for at CCM. I've heard so many people bash this opera, and you know, it just goes to show how quick people are to make assumptions about something before they ready/study it. Knowing the libretto is one things, but Britten wrote his works as a whole, like Gesamtkuntswerk. The score is absolutely divine - I'll say there are moments where one finds shimmers of Ravel's brilliant orchestration, moments of Stravinsky-esque rhythmic pulsations and melodic shapings comparable to Schubert.
But, for another day.
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