Recently, I've been mentally collecting things about my practicing and playing that I need to improve on - and it always seems that at the height of my competitions I find myself questioning everything - motives, phrasing, my ability as a player, etc. - even more.
Francois Rabbath - a double bassist of pure magic - taught me during a masterclass - that when you walk on stage, you no longer think about rhythms or harmonies or any of that stuff. Why? Because you just spent a month, or more, drilling it- when you step on stage, you perform - you play music - no counting, no nothing - you conjure up the pure essence and beauty of music.
What I want - is to be able to turn that on all the time - well not so much the not counting part - but I want to inculcate that moment of sheer genius every time play. My pianist, the other day, said, "Why? Then you wouldn't have that extra umpf at a performance."
I agree - but I don't have to like it.
As many years as I've studied music - there is always something I'm missing - as is the case for everyone, I'm sure. I need to be more OCD, more cognizant of what I'm doing and "push the envelope" even further.
I'm ready to do that - and I should have done an AD instead of a DMA BUT - I'll just have to sacrifice sleep and all that other good stuff for this.
So much stuff to learn - and it's really rather fascinating and I'm intrigued by it all - just wish I could absorb all of it at once.
Mmhmm.
End rant.
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